Another year’s passed and your excuses for neglecting to tick that plus one box for the New Year party are still ringing in your ears. ‘This year will be the year’, you said. Whether you’re a single lady or very much involved, having a better half to show off to all your friends can be the most wonderful feeling in the world. If you’re feeling a little down on yourself and wondering how other girls manoeuvre their way through the battlefield that is the dating world, have no fear. Here are a few cheeky little tips for big changes – so you can find the plus one that really ticks your box.
1. START SMALL. So many girls make the fatal mistake of trying to change too much too fast. This will almost invariably end with you quickly returning to your former habits (think of the drawbacks of going cold turkey). So let’s start small and work our way up to total irresistibility.
2. EYE CONTACT. If you’ve got some confidence issues or are predisposed to feeling self-conscious, chances are you spend more time than you should looking at the floor. Unless you’re accident prone and this is a safety measure, we suggest you take a look at the world you’re missing. Who knows how many glorious opportunities are passing you by? Eye contact is also mega-important in conversation, not only to show that you’re listening and engaged, but also to instil trust and affection. Cheeky stat: your eyes can convey 6 times more emotion than the rest of your face – so use them.
3. SMILE. Smiling goes hand-in-hand with the aforementioned eye contact. The moody loner look will only get you so far – although it’s alright for those secret, long-distance romances – and men tent to stick around for the girl whose smile lights up a room. And before you try and tell us that yours is far from the Northern Lights, let’s move on to step 4.
4. CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE. Now we’re not talking the party girl, don’t-care-what-anyone-thinks confidence nor the can-talk-for-England-on-any-worldly-topic sort. Remember never to confuse obstinacy or arrogance with confidence. What we’re saying is don’t walk around like a wall flower, don’t look down when meeting new people and DON’T over-analyse afterwards. Have confidence that whatever he thought of you, positive or negative, can be changed upon your next meeting. Jane Austen will serve you well.
5. STAY ON THE RADAR. Staying in contact is massively important, especially for new or existing couples. The loss of communication always leads to wondering what might have been. So if that’s the case, sort it out. Take the time to find a new common interest that’ll get you guys talking. If you can create a connection between you and something he likes, he’ll associate you with nice feelings whenever you cross his mind. For this reason, shared hatred is definitely less effective.
6. BODY LANGUAGE. So you smiled and held eye contact throughout the conversation. Your inner confidence is telling you that he wants to see you again and you even bonded over your mutual love of Downton Abbey (okay, probably not – but a girl can dream). But how do you go from an F to a GF? As ever, start small – the last thing you want to do is scare him off. So every time he makes you laugh, give him a nudge. This encourages him to reciprocate physical contact – the more often you do it, the more he’ll get used to the idea that he can touch you. From here, you can move to friendly hugs or the more subtle stroking of the arm. Try leaving your hand on his arm. Of course, if you’re really feeling brave, you could go full cliché and ‘accidentally’ brush his hand – the classics are classics for a reason. Contrary to popular opinion, men can be shy and, most of the time, the first move is your responsibility.
7. BE COOL. Men are turned off by many things you might not necessarily expect. Making him jealous by conspicuously flirting with another guy in front of him may work once, but expect him to get bored of it very quickly. Playing games with each other is all in good fun while the chase is on – but make sure you have something stronger underneath or your relationship will no doubt be shortlived.
8. THE FEAR OF LOSS IS GREATER THAN THE NEED FOR GAIN. This can work in two ways. The fear of losing his single status and the idea of becoming a duo rather than a uno might outweigh his need to gain a girlfriend but, having said that, you can also use this to your advantage. If he really likes you, his fear of losing you could tip the balance in your favour. Should he need a push to take the plunge, this is a last resort tactic. Don’t become a girl who relies on these tactics to get her own way. No-one likes a girl with one foot out the door – you might end up being pushed out altogether if you’re not careful.
Dating is a tricky sport and can seem like an entirely daunting task from the outset, but the key is to highlight your best assets and keep his eyes and his mind on you as often as possible. With these quick and easy tips, it should be a piece of cake. This way you’ll be able to meet men with confidence and become positively irresistible to the opposite sex. Use responsibly and remember to let your own personality shine through at all times. Flaunt it – don’t fake it.