If you’ve recently said ‘yes’ to your lovely man and taken a leap from the mountaintop that is singledom, you’re in for an exhilarating freefall. The wedding countdown can, of course, be massively stressful from an organisational point of view, and even emotionally. Cold feet are nothing unusual, but if he’s the guy for you, you’re golden. We’re sure that you’re sure that he’s the Lennon to your Yoko, the Bowie to your Iman, the Cash to your Carter – but if the pre-wedding anxiety is making you uneasy, here’s our soul mate checklist so you can be 100% certain that this is the groom for you.
1. He loves you even when you’re a horrible mess.
We ladies can be pretty insecure and self-conscious at the best of times, so it takes a great man to lull us into a legitimate sense of security, especially where our looks are concerned. If your groom loves you, explicitly, even when you think you look like a rabid beast, he’s definitely a keeper.
2. He laughs even when you’re not funny.
Guys love a girl with a sense of humour – indeed, many women have locked their husbands down on funnies alone – but the test of a true soul mate is whether he’s willing to laugh at your attempts at humour even when they’re utter failures. If there’s no way he could be genuinely amused by what you said but he’s laughing anyway, he must really love you.
3. He looks at you just to look at you.
Eye contact is a massive part of romance and enormously revealing, especially with men. Guys are generally doers rather than talkers, and think predominantly on a visual level. If you catch him looking at you for no apparent reason other than for its own sake, chances are he’s planning on looking at you for the foreseeable future.
4. He fancies the hell out of you.
If you’re marring this guy (or at least planning on it), chemistry is key. Deep emotional and mental connections are of massive importance, but ultimately platonic without great passion. If it’s perfectly clear to you that your husband-to-be totally loves you and totally fancies you, you’re set for a happy marriage.
5. He never makes you feel jealous.
Women can be emotional creatures and it’s not unusual for us to become jealous – often needlessly. In an ideal relationship, the two of you will have enough freedom to coexist with other members of the opposite sex and enough trust to be cool with it. If he never gives you cause to feel jealous, he must be pretty wonderful.
6. He would rather do nothing with you than something with someone else.
This is a big one. You know it’s love when being bored with you makes him happier than having fun with other people. Just being around each other and feeling great is good enough for you guys, and that is the very definition of romance. If the two of you do nothing together all the time and love it, you’ve really got something.
7. He doesn’t notice (or appears not to notice) your flaws.
Our flaws can be an ultimate source of upset and anxiety – and there’s nothing worse than the fear that the one you love the most can see them and acknowledges them. If you’re wondering whether this guy is soul mate material, have a think about whether he thinks your flaws are flaws or loves you for the unique snowflake you are, no questions asked. If it’s the latter, you’ve already won.
8. He would compromise his happiness for yours.
Selflessness is the ultimate measure of love. And not selflessness for its own sake, but selflessness in the name of your happiness. Whenever he has the chance to choose himself over you and does the opposite, he’s proving his love right there. Guys like this are hard to find and you should keep a hold of him if he’s it.
9. He thinks about your future.
Looking into that glorious horizon and seeing the future of your relationship is a beautiful thing. Many men are short-term thinkers and spontaneous souls, which is lovely – but if you’ve managed to find the man who looks forward to the future because you’re in it, this is someone you can take down the aisle and into the sunset with a clear conscience.
So what are you waiting for? Marry him already.